Paroles: Barbra Streisand. Adelaide's Lament.

The average unmarried female, basically insecure
Due to some long frustration may react
React with psychosomatic symptoms difficult to endure
Affecting the upper respiratory tract

In other words, just from waiting around for that little band of gold
A person can develop a cold
You can spray her wherever you figure the streptococci lurk
You can give her a shot for whatever she's got but it just won't work
If she's tired of getting the fish-eye from the hotel clerk

A person can develop a cold

The female remaining single just in the legal sense
Shows a neurotic tendency see note
Note Chronic organic syndromes toxic and hyper tense
Involving the eye, the ear and the nose and throat

In other words, just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off
A person can develop a cough
You can feed her all day with the Vitamin A and the Bromo Fizz
But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is
If she's getting a kind of name for herself and the name ain't his

A person can develop a cough and further more
Just from stalling and stalling and stalling the wedding trip
A person can develop La grippe
When they get on a train for Niagara and she can hear church bells chime
The compartment is air conditioned and the mood sublime
Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time

Well a person can develop La grippe, La grippe, La post nasal drip
With the wheezes and the sneezes and a sinus that's really a pip
From a lack of community property and a feeling she's getting too old
A person can develop a bad a bad a really bad cold